How mindfulness can help us to see our children …

How mindfulness can help us to see our children ...

When we discover that we will be parents, we spontaneously make a lot of projections about our children . our babies, even when they are still infinitely smaller than the least of our dreams for them.

In these projections, they already have a future. We already know what we do not want them to go through. We have already stipulated how they should behave in family gatherings. We already hope for their professions and even for their musical tastes. We also throb about the times when they feel cold or hungry. In relation to them, we always act as if they are winds and we try at all times to change their direction, leading them where we think best.

However, when babies are born, even if we continue to map out routes of how they should be and how they should behave, their uniqueness will gradually make us rethink our dreams for them.

Although many of these dreams still remain some will be planned again or redone, according to the preferences of the babies and their personality. In this case, it is as if the winds refuse to move according to the barriers we put to them. And so we seek a balance between what we desire and we are sure that it is better for them and what they themselves seek, from their sensations, wants and needs.

Finding a balance for this is not a very easy task for us parents. It is necessary to give continence to the winds. After all, our babies need this to enter the world of social exchanges, communication and culture. But to curtail them too much is also to curtail their dreams, their freedom and their creativity. What to do, then?

The answer lies in interacting with them through mindfulness. Attention fully is the capacity we have to have and keep an eye on what we live in the present relations, without judging or interpreting what we are living.

In other words, we must seek, at the moment In this case, relating through mindfulness allows us to leave our projections aside to interact with our children as they are, to be with them, to be with them, not to categorize or reflect on their actions.

rather than interacting with them, according to what we think they are or what they should be.

The exercise of mindfulness allows us to understand and accept our children in their specificity. This is even more essential for the parents of children who have deviations in their development, since, in addition to the projections that, in some situations, they can not achieve at the moment, they need to relate to parents, who often still they do not understand the trajectory of their development.

Seeking full attention is to allow us to be more present and whole in the affective and social interactions with our children. It is allowing us to be amazed at a smile that we do not expect and impact on their unexpected actions and learn from all they have to teach us.

Let's leave aside our projections , at least the moment we are with them, is to allow ourselves to be carried away by the delicious taste of the winds. And even if it is also important to give contingency to their movements, to feel their natural breeze on our faces and hearts is the best way to be with them and educate them.

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